When your ex-best friend feels that (even though she got the last word in)
After saying that I don't want the situation to drag on because I'm making other's sad:
You got the last word. That should have been it. 2:57PM, on November 15th, should have been the very last thing.
But you had to go on and drag on this situation further with contradictory words. You made me out to seem like
a horrible friend who never genuinely loved or cared for you or your well being. Everyone around me knows what
you've done. Everyone knows you went behind my back and talked shit about me to your friends.
Everyone is telling me I should think you dead. Because technically; you did die. That _____ I knew
has been gone for... eh, probably about a year and a half now. Since about last May? Does that sound about right?
Wasn't it around that time that those bad things started happening to you? That your world fell apart and you were terrified,
and you broke down and told me everything you said you couldn't tell anyone else? About last May, right?
Despite your issues and the fact that you were mentally fucked by those situations, I stood by you, tried to help you, was there for you and loved you. I was never jealous of your friends. They had nothing on me. I didn't like some of them, but clearly you don't understand the difference between "dislike" and "jealousy". I didn't think some of them were good for your health; as unstable as it was already.
You and I both came from unstable lives. We were each other's strength to pull through bad things for a long time. You changed. You lied. You got me excited. You let me down. You lied some more. You broke off our friendship saying I was never really a true friend, when I sat there like a puppy waiting for you to sign on.
A few words here and there? Letting me know you were doing alright? That you were alive? That sometimes you thought about me like I thought about you outside of the internet? That was enough for me. I never cared for more than that and never did I say I wanted more out of it than that. I told you it was fine when you were gone, just like you knew I was gone; it didn't mean our friendship had to crumble. Jesus Christ, _____, I met up with a friend I hadn't talk to in over 10 years and we were still on good terms. Nothing has to end in such a vicious, nasty "off like a bandaid" way like you made it seem.
All of this is your doing, not mine. I tried to be civil with you, I even gave you the last word, despite hoping that we could put that band-aid back over our friendship, because to me what we had was special, but I guess it wasn't special enough to you, where you recall all the bad times over the good.
Do you remember that one time we stayed up until 7 in the morning talking on the internet, and we said that God brought us together for a reason? Yeah, I do. That was about 5 years ago, right after I dropped Julia out of my life. But maybe since your husband doesn't believe in God, you've lost your way too.
But it's all in the past now. It's too late to go back after all of the horrible things you've done and said. It should have ended on November 15th, at 2:57PM, but you felt like you had to drag it on by responding to Ariel, despite me saying "I understand" pretty much insinuating that you're not going to respond to her, knowing that you won't, you do anyway, and you do it in such a nasty and cold manner, it's like you're not even human anymore. It's like we're just some dogs that you think you can talk down to and rudely to and because you don't understand what we're saying when we bark-- but the sad thing is, _____? I've been there with you when you took care of dogs. You treat dogs better than you treat us. Which wasn't fair, but you know what? I tallied it up to your meds and your "therapist" who's helping you so much that you felt like even though you got the last word, you had to stretch it on further.
This is it. After 2:57PM on November 15th, I had let the wound start to close. After reading your message today that you sent the VERY NEXT DAY, that wound stung a little, but you know what they say:
I've moved away from this name, and I won't be coming back. All my memories are away in storage; maybe one day in a few years I'll come back here and look at them and remember, and smile. When I get over your death fully. It's a grieving process, you know? It's going to take some time. But this wound in my heart will eventually heal.
I wanted so badly to shit talk you, and bring up nasty points that would make you look like a bad, awful friend like you did to me, but see... I'm not like that. I didn't change and become an awful person. You did. A long time ago I told you to stand up for yourself; not to become a total bitch. But I guess an object in motion stays in motion, and you'll keep changing until you lose everything. And I'm sorry for you. I hope one day you let _____ die instead, and the true you resurfaces, but until that day comes around, I don't want anything to do with you. You can fight and say that you are still you, but... you aren't. As someone who's known you since you were 16 years old, I think I'd know.
Rest in Peace, _____.